Those who have followed Mary Lincoln closely will be familiar with the name Rhoda E. White, “Mrs. James W. White,” or “Mrs. Judge White.” A close friend of Mary’s from the war years and beyond, Rhoda received many letters from Mary, some of which survive.
She is generally casually passed over as the wife of a noted judge, one with politics not always aligned with Lincoln’s. But that doesn’t do her justice. I could write a long series on Rhoda, but I’ll just highlight a few things here. I highly recommend checking out her letters to Lincoln, in the papers available online at the Library of Congress’s website!
It’s generally safe to assume that Mary’s close friends in later life were interesting, intense people. They were a fairly diverse group, but had that in common.
Rhoda married James White, who was an Irish-American and devout Catholic. She decided to convert to Catholicism and became very devout, and also committed to helping the Irish-American community in New York City, where they lived. While the Whites were wealthy and respected, the Irish-American community there was generally plagued by poverty and other troubles. They tried hard to avert the horrific 1863 draft riots with their outreach, and warned Lincoln the situation was out of control. They became loyal and influential Lincoln friends and supporters—and they expected patronage positions in exchange for their loyalty.
The family’s LOC correspondence largely relates to this, and their machinations are at times pretty elaborate. Rhoda was not shy about advocating, though she always indicated she obeyed her husband in everything and had his full approval. She was not a strong-minded woman, she assured Lincoln, but she was definitely a strong-willed and impressive one. She loved the game of politics as much as Mary Lincoln did.
As newlyweds, the Whites lived with James’ friend, the eccentric Horace Greeley, and his even more eccentric new bride. They remained Greeley loyalists their entire lives. In 1872, presidential candidate Greeley breakfasted at the home of their son in law, along with John Hay and other notables. (The Sun, July 12, 1872).
They had a large family, extensively educating both daughters and sons. They lost several children at young ages, but the ones who made it to adulthood were impressive. According to one family history, “The White children were all gifted. They are as follows: Mrs. Lucy C. Lillie, a regular contributor to ‘Harper's Magazine;’ Mrs. Janett Walker, a concert singer; Mrs. Jennie White DelBal, an authoress; Thomas W. White who was for thirty-five years the personal representative of James Gordon Bennett on the New York “Herald.” He was a lawyer and compiled many law books.” (I did not know about Lucy C. Lillie or Thomas’s careers until now! Interesting—if true, which I can’t seem to verify. I’m even more suspicious because Rhoda E. Mack, discussed below, is not included here, but her career was lower-profile.)
Rhoda published several books, usually with Catholicism and family (especially marriage) as themes, first under a pseudonym and then under her real name. One encyclopedia of women writers, which notes her initial work as “Uncle Ben,” gives this assessment:
Her treatment of New York tenement dwellers and their living conditions, though neither extensive nor primary, is a forerunner of the work of Stephen Crane and Jacob Riis. All of White's writing stems from a sense of ethical and social responsibility, but her view of conventional situations is generally from an unexpected angle. Her humorous perspective raises even her most commonplace subjects from the level of cliché and stereotype.
She traveled frequently after she was unexpectedly widowed in 1867, which was followed shortly after by the death of one of her beloved daughters, about whom she wrote a book. She included letters from many famous people testifying to Jenny White del Bal’s virtues, including one from Mary Lincoln.
The memoir focused largely on Rhoda’s education of her children, in which she took great pride. Beyond the “ordinary branches,” she taught them rhetoric, natural philosophy, history, French, and music. She had insisted Jenny read 25 pages a day, from books she assigned on ancient and modern history, biography, and poetry , from the age of nine, and eventually added Italian, Spanish, and theoretical music to her curriculum. “Mrs. White had studied from the first year of her married life, and took lessons from the best masters in everything which she intended to each her children. She consulted her husband on this point, who was ever ready to aid and encourage her in the pursuit of knowledge.”
To the very end of Mary’s life, members of the White family assisted her, including Rhode E. White’s daughter, Rhoda E. Mack. She was married to John Mack, who appears to have been a wealthy merchant. Their son may possibly have been an actor in shows like “An Irish-American,” the star of which was listed as “J. W. Mack.” (The Brooklyn Daily Eagle, July 16, 1882.) Rhoda Mack had some creative talent, illustrating books.
In fact, around the time she was dealing with Mary Lincoln in 1882, the final year of her life, Rhoda Mack was proving her love for theater and eccentricity by holding a bash for Oscar Wilde, who had just arrived on his American tour. (Buffalo Evening News, January 10, 1882). Mack’s daughter, also named Rhoda E. Mack, married a prominent Irish-American politician, Bourke Cockran, a few years later—a man “built like Hercules,” who radiated strength and domesticity. (The Goshen Times, August 4, 1892.) Also notable about Cockran, from his Wikipedia:
Cockran switched parties four times, but is best known as a Democrat. He was a leading orator of the late 19th and early 20th century, and an important influence on British statesman Winston Churchill, who noted that Cockran was a pacifist and capitalist, who vigorously fought against socialists, silver inflationists and advocates of high tariff . . . Churchill never became a pacifist, but he did adopt all the rest of Cockran's stances during his own political career, and carefully read and reread his speeches for oratorical advice.
Wikipedia also notes that Cockran probably had a dalliance with Churchill’s mother, who then asked him to introduce her 20-year-old son to New York Society.
According to a newspaper profile of Cockran, the marriage brought him “a handsome fortune,” and his wife’s mother “was well known in society…and gave Oscar Wilde his first reception in this country.” It noted that Mrs. Cockran was “a good match for her talented husband, and often crosses swords with him in good natured wordy combats, to the great delight and amusement of their friends. Like her husband, too, she is fond of all outdoor sports…She accompanies her husband everywhere and…has, it is said, a head for business also and looks after her own property, much to the satisfaction of Mr. Cockran, who dislikes to be bothered with the details of real estate management.” (Philadelphia Inquirer, July 29, 1892). Just ten years after Mary’s death, this was now a wifely ideal in some circles. Sadly, both Rhoda E. Macks died young—Mrs. Cockran died at 31.
Rhoda E. White outlived most of her children, but she stayed active, enjoying her grandchildren and writing in her rather whimsical, supremely calm way, always on the theme of cautionary tales about family life. In 1889, she wrote a widely-published sensational newspaper article about the Greeleys. They had fallen in love by mail, which naturally showed Greeley at his most attractive, and when he came to see his bride, she was horrified with his appearance. However, something about him rendered her strangely “submissive” and he firmly argued her into marrying him, though she insisted he know that she did not love him. Mrs. White seemed to think the whole thing showed bad judgment, although she blamed the mutual friend who had brought them together without discussing Greeley’s personal appearance. “Mrs. Greeley and I were well acquainted and though differing in many points, loved to compare notes,” said Rhoda, interestingly. “I remember when she wished to compliment me she told me I was like her.” (Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, June 24, 1889, quoting the New York Sun).
It appears that in her later years, spent in England, Ireland, and other places in Europe, she actually was a regular foreign correspondent of the New York Sun. Rhoda E. White died at age 82 in 1898. (New York Sun, January 7, 1878).